Finally!

Back at the beginning of February, I got a super speeder ticket in a tiny backwoods county in south Georgia while driving back home to Atlanta for my cousin's funeral.

Tim was livid with me.

The trooper clocked me going 93 in a 70 mph zone while I was passing some old geezer who wouldn't move over. I knew he had me, I was running late, so simply took the ticket and continued on after I realized he wasn't going to let me off with a warning.

(See previous older post about this trooper)

When I found out the ticket was going to cost me $422 and make our insurance go up, I decided to fight it instead of paying. I had to write and explain that I wanted to plead not guilty and request a court date.

That was in February.

I heard back from the State Court Solicitor on May 15, offering me a one time plea offer. They would reduce my speed to 84, with no points on my insurance for a fine of $562...instead of the original $422.

#extortion

I once again declined their more than (not)generous offer of taking even more of my money, instead once again requesting a court date.

I heard back from them on August 15.

My court date was finally set, for September 5, at 9:00 AM.

I had my oil changed, tires rotated, gassed up the car the day before and set my alarm for three AM, after going to bed at one AM.

I had my clothes all laid out and ready to go.

I woke up, brushed my teeth, washed my face and was on the road shortly before four AM for the four hour, ten minute ride to Bug Tussel.

                                                                #BeverlyHillbillies

I got there with thirty minutes to spare...excellent!

Now all I needed was for the cop who ticketed me not to show up, and hopefully the case would be dropped.

I parked and went into the courthouse to ask where traffic court was held. The cop behind the desk by the metal detector said I was in the right place...but I couldn't come in wearing shorts.

I asked him if he was serious?

He was.

"It was in the letter."

I told him I thought I just needed to look nice, thought I did, but guess I didn't.

I had passed an out of date, run down, almost empty looking store which made Big Lots look like Nordstrom on my way to the courthouse, a couple of blocks over, so decided to go there for something fancier to wear.

As  I headed back to my car, another guy in a vehicle also parked by the curb in front of the courthouse, rolled his window down about four inches and hollered to me "Why'd they kick you out?"


The store was a depressing, almost empty huge space with 1978 items for sale, and a few articles of women's clothing, all either XL or XXL.

I finally found a wrinkled tee shirt dress, XS, wadded up on a shelf next to the hunting vests.

Ten bucks.

#HighwayRobbery


I folded up the legs of my shorts, took off my shirt in the parking lot while sitting in my car,  put on my party dress over my shorts and went back to my Shindig at the courthouse.

I  felt like  I had stepped back in time...literally.

They called roll. I said "Here" a little too loudly.

Then I got nervous.

I can't go to jail in a town like this, the big girls will eat me alive.


The Solicitor ran the whole show. I never even saw a judge come into the courtroom. I was called to the bench to sit by the Solicitor so I did.

He pulled out my file, while I admitted to him that I had been speeding, but felt under the circumstances of my journey, and the fact that I haven't have a ticket in over twenty five years, there should be some leniency.

He never even looked at me, but said...

"Mrs. Cotton, considering your clean driving record, we will drop the speed to 84 and your fine will be $142...to be paid within forty five days. Money order only.

They gave me hoops to jump through, so I jumped. They made me wear ugly clothes, so I wore them... but $142 beats the crap out of $562.


It was a good day.


Til next time...COTTON

Keys To A Happy Birthday

We had a family vacation planned for a while, and it just happened to fall on my birthday week. My family came down from Georgia, my brother here in Orlando hitched up his boat

 and we all took a little trip, over the seven mile bridge and down to the lower Keys of Florida.

I knew it was real when I saw an iguana walking down the sidewalk as we passed by.

We rented a house which slept fourteen and was directly on the water.

My younger son hasn't visited us once, since he turned back around for Georgia after day three of moving to Orlando with us, but this trip got him down here as well and made it all the sweeter.

The Keys are quite the experience...and  all good.

All the time.

There's so much to do and see, yet is equally satisfying to  simply hang around and do absolutely nothing but enjoy the beauty of it all, as far as your eyes can see.

We ate like kings

and drank like we were really, really thirsty...

All the time. 

Every meal we ate out was great

and every meal we ate in was awesome.

Bonus points I didn't even have to cook one of them.

There was a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle of the Florida Keys, found in a drawer, and have never seen such dedication to putting together nine hundred ninety six pieces of a puzzle.

It was awesome.

It was simply and exactly what my tired, old skinny bones needed.

Tim (Ole Jed) as well.

I feel sorry for people who don't love and cherish their family the way we do.

Extended members always included.

Oh yeah...we took the Corn Hole too.

I could have stayed a month.

Then seemingly, just like that...

It was time to get the boat out of the water,  clear off the dock, pack up and go back to reality as we live it, the other fifty one weeks of the year.

If I can just have one week this great, to look forward to, every year,with all of our family and friends; I can easily make it through the other fifty one weeks...come what may.

Already planning next years' trip down, and having our oldest join us is a must in 2019. He was certainly missed this time, just couldn't get away.

There's always room for loved ones.

I don't think I have ever enjoyed a vacation more or spent one staying this close to Mother Nature...literally.

Moving to Florida was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I don't have a best friend here...not like I did in Georgia, where I had dozens.

I miss that, and hope they miss me.

Thank goodness I have had Massey here. 

She has and will always  be my bestie.

This transition, later in my life, has helped me to find out a lot about myself.

There is some poor, unsuspecting soul, somewhere in the metro area of Orlando, destined to be my new local Bestie.

I just know it.

I bet Massey hopes I find them sooner than later, but kudos to her for keeping me company until then.

I worry myself sick about my Lost Boy back home but luckily my sister is close by to help.

Everyone needs a friend.

For the first time, in close to going on two years now, am almost to the point of saying "I Got This."

I've fallen back, then slowly maintained, and finally moved ahead. I was in a dark hole for a while and slowly climbed out of it, not sure of what I would find.

I climbed out anyway.

I've been occasionally depressed but more often than not, impressed with kindness shown to me and my family after simply being  the person my parents raised me to be.

I intend to live, as long and large as I can.

You should as well.

Can't hurt.

Might help.

Till next time...COTTON

It's A Coke Icee

Slurpee is a rip off of the original Icee. There's nothing better than the "Coldest Drink in Town." When I was a kid, Coke was the only flavor. They added cherry when I was about ten or so, which seemed ridiculous to me. How can something taste better than a Coke Icee?

I never bought or tried one.

If I wanted a fruit flavored frozen drink, I'd stop by the DQ for a Mister Misty.

 You can't grow up in a city ten minutes from the heart of downtown Atlanta and not be a 'Co-Cola' lover. My mother never called it a Coke or a Coca Cola.

 She always called it a "Co-Cola."

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.


I was at work last night and had a party of four, total business meeting so didn't talk with them much during the dinner. The guy who paid gave me his corporate 7 Eleven card.

I told him I loved 7 Eleven because they always sell Coke Icee...not to mention there was a 7 Eleven on every corner in Orlando.

I told him when living back in Georgia I always stopped at Flash Foods because they sold them as well.

The one woman sitting with them cracked up when I also added "The only downside is when you go into the store, really wanting one, and the little red light on the machine is on...total bummer."

He told me the very next day was 7 Elevens' birthday and were giving them away for free all day long.

I left the house today and headed out to run errands and pay bills. I stopped at the 7 Eleven on the corner up from my house  and walked in to see six peeps huddled around the machine (thankfully without the red light blinking).

I asked the cashier if  the small crowd meant it was really free Icee day?

Very professionally she said, "Yeah".

The four in front of me got their drinks then I got mine. We all headed straight to the front door in a line.

AWESOME!

I asked the cashier before leaving if this was just for Orlando or nationwide?

She (once again) professionally shrugged her shoulders in a classic 'I-doh-no' gesture but smiled at us all as we all walked out together.

The young girl with three guys in front of me told me it wasn't just Orlando but everywhere.

Cool Beans!

I got into my car and immediately got on social media to alert FB'ers everywhere that free Icee was out there for the taking!

The four kids who had been in front of me were all sitting in the car next to me, all typing on their own cells'.

I wanted to toot my horn, have them roll down their window and me say to them, "I'll put it on Facebook. You guys take care of Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, and that other one I can't think of right now."

"Cheers!"

It's the things that make me laugh every day. A chuckle goes a long way on a hard day.

 Smiling feels really good too, unless it's Massey asking for a selfie of us together. I have a hard time smiling on demand.

Maybe because I detest fake smiles. 

But I bet even you smiled when you saw this one!

Or this one.

Yeah, my older sister and brother make fun of me a lot and my daughter rolls her eyes at me even more . My husband just slowly shakes his head and silently walks away.

You gotta laugh, even when you feel like crying. 

Laughter uplifts you. Crying drains, and seldom helps you in the long run.

Love big and love large.

Karma is real.

Till next time ...COTTON