Taken a couple of years ago.
Taken twenty years ago.
True facts; in the mind of this baby.
(ten years earlier)
Are you absolutely kidding me?
I'm no rocket scientist, but there is no way on God's green earth that I am sixty freakin' years old.
My God, that's old !!
(by anyone's standard, who's old enough to remember when JFK died)
Yes, that's my barometer of old age.
And if I have to tell you who this is,
we're not going to have a lot in common either.
When I was a kid, thirty was middle aged. People in their sixties were the old people I knew...
or either I didn't pay attention until I was well into my forties.
I'm not quite sure where my fifties went, but know we didnt have a lot of money then, and more often than not, we had none at all.
Yet here we are a decade down the road of Life and even ended up on the sunny side of the street.
I kind of like that I'm a semi crazy, random ass freak of nature individual.
It seems to serve me well, and life is never boring.
No one searching for positivity in their life tends to gravitate towards a snooze fest.
It's makes it easier for other people who already know me, to explain to others who don't, when first meeting me, that although I may seem (be) bat shit crazy at times, I'm basically a decent person who will do anything to help you at least once and have sometimes been a repeat offender before I learn my lesson.
There are three things I consider hard fast rules in Life:
*You get what you give.
*No one can help you until you are willing to help yourself.
*Don't be a dick.
(sorry but it's true)
Pretty much every other rule falls under one of the above categories.
I'd say one of my biggest (or most cringeworthy) downfalls is my thick southern accent and how I sound the minute I open my big, loud mouth and the words come out.
Which happens a lot.
A whole lot.
Case in point: My husband's name is Timothy but goes by Tim.
That is one syllable... but when I pronounce it, is minimum three, maximum four.
Every. Time.
"Tee-umm-uh"
Maybe I should save his contact under "My Mullet Man"
I can't even use my bluetooth in the car to ask my cell to call him when I'm driving. It attempts every other two and three syllable contact beginning with the letter "T."
(and it's a long list)
Maybe he should save my contact under "Hick Stick."
I know I sound like a hillbilly (I've heard my recorded voice and is nails on a chalkboard) and actually try my best to corrrectly annunciate whenever I'm clocked in...or talking with people who's first language isn't English..or if I get pulled over by a cop.
Fortunately I haven't worked since March 16th. I only leave the house maybe two or three times a week, every neighbor I've met so far speaks english, and the last cop who pulled me over (for speeding) in PoDunk, south Georgia, sounded even hicker than me...and by a long shot.
Retiring at sixty has never been my plan, still isn't, but may be, depending on this current pandemic sweeping our nation. Given the all clear, I'd be glad to wait tables again for a few more years. If I have to wear a mask constantly and fear touching contaminated surfaces or exposing myself to greater risks, I'll stay home for now.
I had worked my way up to a five, sometimes four day work week, day shifts only. Currently they are only open from 4PM until 10 (midnight on the weekends). When (or if) they ask me to return, I will reassess the situation.
I've been above board and honest on all unemployment documentation...every single week.
Am I out looking for work?
No.
Would I like to?
Maybe, if I felt comfortable and safe, but I don't.
Are you currently unemployed because of COVID?
Yes.
The scientists, the doctors, the freaking people in charge of the CDC said stay at home if you can, so I did, because (luckily) I could.
Yeah, I lost a pretty sweet job, which took three years for me to work up to; a twenty hour work week , with a take home of six hundred bucks after taxes.
It was perfect.
Could I go out and get another job? Sure I could, but it freaks me out now, to eve have to go to Aldi for groceries once or twice a week.
I am sixty years old.
I've been paying attention, and I'm at risk.
Over three years ago, I stopped smoking cigarettes (cold turkey) after three decades...on Mother's Day, and have never smoked another one.
My lungs are worked out on a daily basis now. I've coughed up enough shit to sink the Titanic...but have never been prouder of an accomplishment. I stretch, excercise and drink tons and tons of water.
I have a concoction I drink every day for good health, detoxification and preventive purposes. I highy recommend it. Fresh ginger root, turmeric root, lemons, limes, local honey, cayenne pepper and apple cider vinegar. I make it by the batch in my juicer, and we all drink it now.
I feel healthier and stronger every day , but am still apprehensive about getting back out there, with all the others.
Especially with so many idiots (yes idiots) refusing to mask up or social distance.
I've been paying into the unemployment system for well over forty years. Trust me, I've paid in a lot more than I've been paid out since March 16th.
Once my benefits run out, I have been thinking about, and considering several options. As far as a 'clock in' job, I don't want to do anything other than serve. It's what I enjoy and what I do best. The better job I do, the more I make. I'm basically my own boss, as long as I do my job correctly, follow all expected guidelines, procedures, and consistently strive to be a team player.
Every employee should be so lucky.
I've definitely been one of the lucky ones.
Every shift is a pay day and a new adventure.
I first started out for Red Lobster in the early eighties. After that, I worked for Steak & Ale, WD Crowley's Scotch House, Johnny's Pizza, LongHorn, Mama Lucia's (fine dining) also in the Atlanta airport for Fifth Group (Ecco) and even in Orlando after moving here almost four years ago.
But I enjoy writing...a lot.
I think I like it so much because you can't hear my accent or drawl.
It certainly helps, in any case.
I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this Blog, and after publishing almost eighteen hundred posts since 2011, I haven't done too shabbily.
I've had 254,134 hits on my blog as of today, before posting this one.
I have a dashboard which tells all my stats and numbers, comments and where my readers are checking in from.
Believe it or not, this is what it tells me:
United States
Russia
Italy
France
Germany
South Korea
United Kingdom
Ukraine
Poland
Canada
India
Ireland
Singapore
Brazil
United Arab Emirates
Spain
Belgium
Slovenia
(including 853 unknown regions)
That's pretty insane if you ask this Hick Stick Hipster.
I'd like to think for the most part, people who people read or follow my Blog, do so because it's a pleasant read or diversion, a chuckle or sometimes a sobering reminder, for just a couple of minutes out of their day. I think we could all use that.
My daughter, my Bestie, my youngest...
thinks we should start a podcast together.
She's researching what all it would entail and how to best go about it. She listens to podcasts all the time. I concede and defer to her on all things current, popular and relevant.
(my Momma didn't raise no dummy)
I'm not quite sure what podcasts are, but seems as if we'd be putting on our own little show, and posting it on the internet.
It looks as if I'm going to have to start brushing up on my annuciation again.
Big Sigh.
*pronunced "Bee-ugh S-eye-ah"
Till next time,
COTTON@60
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