Here Comes the Bride !!

I gave a co worker a wedding shower at work on Monday.

She is biting the bullet on Saturday to marry her "baby daddy". I wonder if that word will make it into the dictionary soon? It seems to be a pretty commonly heard word these days...but at least she is turning him from that in into the REAL daddy!

She is a dear sweet woman who has made her life into something good and has turned a hard childhood into a working adulthood ...adding a college degree and working on another.

I can't go to the wedding on Saturday because I am working and took too much time off to go to Biloxi to play with my husband for our anniversary (hence the shower).

I must say I outdid myself... Lasagna, garlic bread, caesar salad, champagne punch, spinach dip and a cake. (Do I know how to get out of feeling bad about missing a wedding or WHAT)????

I call her my chubby little friend... but of course with me weighing 105lbs that means most of my friends are "chubby". She has lost a lot of weight and is looking and feeling good about herself and her future.

Getting married is NOT going steady. It is not just living in the same house. It is making a life long commitment... as they say "for better or for worse". In my opinion, too many couples seem to miss that part of the vows.

It won't always be a bed of roses...well maybe for the first year, while you are still unpacking wedding presents and loving your "honey moon" stage.

I have been with my husband for over twenty years. We have had good times, great times, okay times and really bad times. I will admit that before he took me on this last trip, I had fallen into a funk. I was tired of doing everything around the house, taking care of the kids and house...all the while working six days a week. Of course he never demanded that I do those things, I just naturally took it upon myself to try to be a super woman.

After we came home from Biloxi...we had a fight. Not a fist fight...my husband would never raise a hand to me in a million years. But I spewed off with my big mouth. I felt that although we had gone on this trip, it was with two other couples, and I felt that for one time in twenty years, I just wanted something to be JUST ABOUT ME! I wanted to be the princess...I wanted to be in his spotlight. I wanted to feel special. The weekend had been spent in the casinos and partying with the other four people, and I just wanted to feel like he hadn't given up on me as being the focus of his heart and soul.

Our actual anniversary was on Monday after we returned from Biloxi on Sunday night. After replacing the screens on the house, and fixing the garage door that the kids had torn up while we were gone...doing all the laundry, cleaning up after the kids and falling into bed, I instigated the argument.

Little known to me, he came home early from work on Monday (our actual anniversary) and took me to our favorite Italian restaurant. He gave me a beautiful gold bracelet with tiny sand dollars and starfish on it (he knows how I love the beach). And then he dropped the bomb. He gave me a card that simply said Happy Anniversary on the front....and on the inside he had written "I never gave up on you, You just gave up on me".

It was the most poignant thing he has ever said to me... and he was exactly and totally right.

I thought he had just had a good time in Biloxi, and that was the end of our anniversary.

But taking me out...giving me that bracelet...and giving me that card made all the difference in the world to me.

Marriage is a long road, filled with many ruts and potholes. It is a commitment for life.

Sometimes you have to evaluate and sometimes you have to make adjustments.

But it isn't something that you can bail out on or give up on.

After that lovely dinner, and that special gift and card... I felt renewed.

I felt special...I fell in love with my husband all over again.

I could never imagine being with another man. I cannot imagine being without my husband. I cannot even think of anything that could make me happier than being married to Tim.

It hasn't all been roses, and there have been many ruts in the road.

But after twenty years....I feel a satisfaction that I made a wise decision in marrying him, and with staying with him.

Marriage is a lot of work... but if you both work at it, it is so tremendously rewarding that you can not possibly think of your self without thinking of your spouse. You are forever intertwined and I mean this in a good way.

I look at him and I feel so blessed to have a man that loves me with such depth and devotion. (and trust me...it takes a LOT to live with the likes of me)!!

So I wish the same good fortune on my very dear friend. I hope that her future husband realizes what a wonderful woman he has, and treats her accordingly. Because if he doesn't...he can always just be "baby daddy".

But to be man and wife is a blessing that is all too often taken for granted and thrown away at the first sign of trouble.

To work through the problems, seek out answers and solutions, realize mistakes and make up for them...it is all a process that is called "MARRIAGE".

If you stick it out, if you love each other totally and completely... you will find the greatest bliss that you could ever imagine.

There will be bumps in the road, there will be trials and tribulations... but there will be a satisfaction at the end of the day when you realize that you have a partner in your life and someone that loves you just as much as you love them.

Good luck to my dear friend and may she have the wonderful wedding and marriage that she so tremendously deserves.

You have to be in it for the long haul...for the good, the bad , the ugly....and whatever else life may throw your way.

Just remember that now you will always have someone to turn to and someone to lean on and depend on... and in my book that is a pretty awesome thing to have.

I hope that twenty years down the road you are still in love with your husband like I am with mine... TRUST me...it is an AWESOME and powerful feeling to have, and I feel extremely blessed to have it... and to have him love me as well.

Good luck my friend... enjoy the ride and make the most of every moment and day.

Life is short...


Til next time.....COTTON