Pay It Forward Time...Again

Tim's new job requires him to work out of town Tuesday through Friday every other week or so. It's like a vacation for us both, trust me.

If Forrest Gump and Jen-Nay were like peas and carrots, Tim and I are like Phyllis Diller and Jed Clampett, married to each other.

I'm just trying to be funny...but is eerily a true statement.

I'm not even kidding when I say one of Tim's favorite things to do is slowly shake his head at me when I do or say something, and quietly say to no one in particular, "Pitiful...just...Pitiful."

What can I say???

It's worked for us since 1988.

I'm finally feeling like my old crazy self again.

Poor Tim...

Oh, the above is his other favorite thing to say to me.

I consider them both terms of endearment.


On the other end of the spectrum of our relationship, bet I say this to him at least once a day.

That's us in a proverbial Nut (small pun) Shell.

We tend to think of our relationship as "If it ain't broke don't fix it." True fact...opposites attract.

We're finally, after a ten year struggle almost back to where we were when the spiral started. It's an incredibly satisfying feeling for us both.

We were as blessed as we were jinxed. We had so much help from so many others, with sometimes never even having to ask... and with lots of hard work have finally emerged from our abyss and moving up and ahead and beyond.

So with Tim out of town this week, have decided it is time for me to get back to my Pay It Forward motto.

One of our Sous Chefs at work is getting married...after an eleven year and two kid later relationship. He's an awesome guy. Almost young enough to be my own kid. He always calls me "Ms. Kelly"... never just Kelly. He was so helpful to me when I started my new job here and was scared sh*tless about starting in a new place.

I've done pretty well this past week, even though it has been slow, so came home from work last night and to wrote him and his bride in a card to congratulate them on their big day (tomorrow). Of course it was was a lengthy two page note (I like to write) and gave him plenty of unsolicited advice about making making marriage work and included thirty bucks in the card. Then I thought about their two kids so added them "pop open" cards my sweet sister ordered and had sent to me here in Orlando to include in the endless letters I write  each and every week.

Then you pop it open and has an inspirational quote for you to read. Each card has a different one.

Huge shout out to my sister for my little cards (about 2"x 2"). What an awesome insert when writing to someone!

I got to work tonight with my card, thinking the Sous Chef would be there but he'd already left for the day. I gave the card to my GM, told him it was for Chef and asked if he'd hang on to it and give it to him. He said "You didn't need to do that."  I told him I didn't need to, I wanted to.

Pay It Forward number one...check! 

I was on a roll now.

I tend to be a player .

Another young girl who works there with me as a cook and lives with her parents is one of the sweetest people you could ever meet. Her mother suffers from debilitating MS and father has recently been diagnosed and currently battling aggressive cancer.

So I asked her the other day, after telling me her dad had lost over twenty pounds...to ask him (in southern speak) what he had a hankerin' for?

Her response?

Anything...he's off Chemo this next week.

BAM!!

I have (don't ask me why... don't know) a ten pack of throw away aluminum pans, so making them a huge pan of lasagna and dropping it off at their house tomorrow for dinner and hopefully lots of leftovers. Throw in some garlic bread and a salad and all they have to do is eat and throw away the pans. A "No Clean Up" dinner is the best kind of dinner.

Do I have to do any of these things?

Absolutely not.

Do I want to?

Absolutely!

So what we were poor for ten years? Big whoop. We're not anymore. It's just money anyway and highly over rated. We aren't rich but we have enough to help a few others.

It's time to return to helping others. It's time to pay back. It's time to pay it forward.

I have a (possibly delusional) husband who loves me for some unknown reason but has continued to for almost thirty years.

I have three kids who have very seldom disappointed, but more often than not... thrilled and filled my heart.

I don't write to tout about my own successes. I write to encourage others to take a step back. Take a break from your own inner worries, concerns, problems and think about the bigger picture around you. More often than not, your problems will pale in comparison to millions of others. Be grateful for what you have been given...not for what you think you need. Give some small amount of joy to someone else who needs it more and trust me, will come back to you ten fold.

Life summed up...

You get what you give. The more you give, the more you will receive.

True Fact.

I felt for almost ten years I was drowning. I wasn't.

It was a time for me to realize that one drop of water means everything.

Tomorow is a stretch of a promise. Live today, live your moment, live your seconds.

One Last Move

I can't believe we've been living in Orlando for over eight months now, which means in four more months we'll be packing up again and moving into our real home.

 The above was my first purge when beginning to pack up our Georgia house for Orlando. I remember feeling so bad about the huge mountain of crap I'd hauled curbside and gave Massey a twenty to take to the garbage men that morning, telling them lunch was on me.

They took it...the money and  the junk.

Dang I still miss the old house. It's no mansion but will always be home. We spent two decades behind those walls and cherish every second of it, even the bad times... and lucky for us were few and far between.

We packed for weeks. Tim was already living in Orlando so it was just me and the two younger kids. I didn't quit my job until two days prior to moving day so my kids did most of the packing. They even packed the possum...yes we are truly Clampetts.

Tim flew into town and one day later, we threw our remaining crap in a truck and took off for Orlando.

After a harrowing seven hour drive, arrived in Florida...in the separate vehicles with a dog in each one.

 After squeezing the bare minimum to survive into a tiny rental house for twelve months, threw the remaining things into a storage unit.

I went back to Georgia for a weekend about five months later and sifted through what we'd left after hastily exiting stage left for Orlando.

I still left our huge china cabinet, an even bigger computer desk and my Johnny Dear along with all his gardening tool buddies in the house for final pickup when we finally move into our real home here.

You never realize you're actually a hoarder until you move after two decades of keeping pretty much every thing you ever walked through the door with.

I still have the attic to go... Baby Steps.

So here we are now, sixteen weeks from when we have to do it all again but with a lot less crap to haul across town.

Yeah, it was hard (almost brutally so) at first. I was lonely for my sister. I missed my amazing job. I missed my younger son who turned tail (homesick) and went back to Georgia after living here less than a week. I missed all my friends. In essence, felt I missed my life. 

But here's the thing about life, the most important thing... which took me almost eight months to realize.

By doing it...I mean living it to the fullest.

I've learned (sometimes) the hard way. If you want to be happy...be happy.

Take what life throws your way and knock it out of the park even if you foul out once or twice. Make that Granny shot with the ball betwixt your  knees and fling that ball towards the basket to the best of your ability. If you miss the hoop...keep trying.

If you need to, take a time out...but never quit the game.

It's the game of life and I'm in it to win it.

Til next time...COTTON

Changes

Webster defines change as "a transformation or transition from one state, condition, or phase to another."

It also has about ten other definitions and feel like each and every one of them applies to my own life for the past decade.

I've gone and been through a lot of changes.

Some good and some bad.

Some happened because they were meant to happen and some happened for no apparent reason, seemingly out of the blue... totally blindsiding me.

But we're still here. (a good thing)

Tim lost his job, then I lost mine.

We almost lost everything, including our house and almost our marriage.

We kept both and thanks to hard work, determination, prayers and help from many are a few weeks away from having our house in Georgia paid off.

Seems things are changing yet again.




"A transformation or transition  from one state, condition, or phase to another."

Our oldest son, TJ ...who also lived here in Orlando with his fiancee, their two young girls and works for a Toyota dealership has accepted another position in Charlotte. They loaded up and moved yesterday.

The above photo includes lots of recent changes as well. On the right are my nephew and his wife, who are currently renting our house back in Georgia. And there's my Lost Boy (in the red shirt) standing next to TJ and Chels.

When my Lost Boy packed up and moved back to Georgia after only three days here in Orlando, was a pretty big blow for me.  No, it was crushing.

But I'll always go back and visit Zach...trust me I'd die of old age waiting for him to come visit me.


But that's okay too.

My sister still lives there with her husband and two of my nephews with their wives, along with about
a hundred of my closest friends from my twenty year run in Newnan. Not to mention we still own a house there.

I'm just more worried about getting up to Charlotte for a visit. Heck, they only lived thirty minutes away from me here in Orlando and only made the journey to their apartment a handful of times.

My only defense (and weak one at best) was that it's taken me well over six months to not feel like following Zach back home even if I had to hitch hike. I struggled to just maintain a job and our cracker box rental house.

So now once again, things have changed. TJ and Chels, along with our grand kids are in North Carolina while Tim and I remain in the state where all old people go to die.

I wish TJ nothing but success. Just like us he's having to change and adapt, but sometimes change is a good thing.

Change:  "To go from one phase to another, as the moon."




If I know TJ (and have since right after he turned two) he will go to the moon and beyond. The sky's not the limit but simply his launching pad.

Change is a good thing, whether you want it or not. It means you're at least moving and not stuck. May sometimes be two steps back before taking one step forward but at least your life is in motion.

Motion:

"The ability or power to move."

Totally cheesy and stolen when late night binge watching "Jane the Virgin" (btw a fantastic show) after work but says it all ...from a mother's perspective.

"My precious child...these are the things I hope for you and your life. May you be bold...may you be brave. May you be loving and joyful and kind. May you carry with you the vitality and spirit of the generations before you. Whatever you dream for your life, may you summon the strength to follow that dream. May you always let your faith be greater than your fear. May you never forget, through all of life's adventures, through every moment of every day...that I walk beside you, cheering you on. Hoping for you, praying for you, loving you. And may you one day love your own child as deeply as I love you, today and always."

As I finish this blog post, realize something really important.

Til next time, COTTON