Thursday, February 27, 2014
My Hat's Off to Housewives
Today I started by the kitchen door to my fabulous newly painted kitchen and began scrubbing dog slobber, other unidentifiable globs, marks and stains from all my walls. I took it one room at a time. Once the walls were clean I went back and did the baseboards. Whoever invented the Magic Eraser is a genius or owned dog's who sling slobber everywhere.
Once the walls and baseboards were done, the doors looked dingy so I did them too. The more I cleaned the more I saw that needed to be cleaned.
You know, the more I did the better I felt. Everyone was gone to work by three so it's just been me here doing my magic. I live with four men. How many of them do you think will come home tonight and say "Dang, look how nice all these walls, baseboards and doors look! And wow, she even cleaned all the light fixtures...doesn't it look amazing?" Maybe if I lived with four gay men they would but I don't so it ain't gonna happen. At least I feel amazed!
For Pete's sake! I dialed 911 instead of 411. Number one I felt like an idiot. Number two I couldn't hang up, then they'd think the bad guy just snatched my cell phone out of my hand and was proceeding to kill me. I'll have to say the woman was very polite after I profusely apologized and she took down all my information.
Tim just slowly shook his head and walked out of the room. I think I heard him say "Way to go, Ace" toward one of the dogs on his way down the stairs.
So I'm not the brightest bulb or even the sharpest tool but seem to be pretty good at providing entertainment.
Years ago I read about a convict who escaped from jail . He went to a phone booth to call a buddy to pick him up. He dialed 911 instead of 411 to get his buddy's number. He hung up the phone but cops picked him up three minutes later at the phone booth chatting with his ride, giving directions to the pickup site.
I have one more bathroom to clean and luckily it's the half bath. It feels absolutely wonderful to have a clean house, unlike the fake clean house I've lived in for months via Febreeze, Yankee Candle tarts and a cinnamon broom tacked to the wall of my kitchen.
Baby, this house is CLEAN and even if none of the Lost Boys notice will be quick to point it out when I see even ONE of them not wiping their feet after coming in from outside. Heck, the pups even wait at the door now for me to wipe their paws.
Who doesn't love a truly clean house? My house has been fake clean for a long time. No overhead or florescent lights and no opening closet doors or looking under beds.
My life and house is an open book now. I'll just answer the front door and say "Come on in, we ain't got much money but you can see out of the windows now and don't have to put on a flea collar before sitting down for dinner."
Sounds inviting, doesn't it?
Til next time...COTTON