Saturday, November 10, 2012
Glad I Helped
This instance was totally different. I like the woman, she is a hard worker and fanatic about details and cleaning but it's not like we are BFFL's. We've never been out together or even seen each other outside of work and often times she seems stressed out. I knew she was in a rocky relationship and recently it fell totally apart when she found out he had an affair. Let's just leave it at that.
They have a daughter together but my friend got kicked out of the house because the wimp filed a restraining order when she went nuts after she discovered him cheating. She's not much bigger than me and he's ...well a man. (kinda, in my opinion) So he's a cheater AND a wimp.
She had two hours today to get all of her belongings out of the house they had shared. She told me she needed to show a strong front and wanted me there, which of course GOT me there! I arrived at nine, in freezing weather and found the house immediately. It was easy to locate with two cop cars and a code enforcement truck sitting out front.
For Pete's sake...we weren't there to rob the place, just simply move HER possessions out.
I expected to see four or five others waiting to help but it was just me. It took twenty minutes for the dead beat to say yes or no as to what we could take. My girlfriend had at least fifty boxes ready to be taped up, tons of paper to wrap fragile items and loads of packing tape and sharpies to mark boxes with. The cop was nice enough but I could tell my friend was stressed to the hilt.
How do you move your life out of a house in two hours with cops and a cheater standing watch over you? Up drove the answer...another co worker from work. She is short but a large woman...pretty stinking large but came to help and help we did. We taped boxes together as he argued over cookie sheets and pots and pans. She said time and time again "I bought every pot and pan in this kitchen and they are going with me." She decided to leave a few for him til he started acting like a jerk and tried to have the whole thing called off saying he didn't have time to stand around for two hours while we moved her out. I just wanted to slap his balding head and poke his eyes out for fun. My friend looked at me and said to pack up everything except the one old looking pot in the back of the cabinet...that one was his.
I packed and packed and packed. I left him with one cheese grater, only because she had three. I commented to my co worker on one trip out loaded with boxes..."When a man has an affair does he not realize you're gonna be really ticked off?"
The thing that struck me the most was although I like this woman we aren't extremely close. She's called me once on my cell and that was to ask for help moving today. The other girl from work who helped is the same...I've never seen her outside of work either. But a girl needed help and two girls CAME to help. What if WE hadn't shown up? I loved this girl more immediately and it pulled at my heart.
We were a good team. We packed so many boxes into the car it was impressive to say the least. As our friend stayed in the house arguing with the cheater over what bathroom products she could take, I slipped into the back of the SUV with my ninety five pounds and my big friend shoved in the boxes for me to push to the back making room for more. Thank goodness another of her friends showed up and luckily drove an Excursion. We had maxed out both vehicles, moving what little could fit in my little car. We loaded up that big ole gas sucker from the floorboard to the roof. She got there late but at least it gave us another vehicle to fill.
The cop told us we had used up all our time as we decided where to squeeze in the small flat screen TV.
Here's the thing. What if I hadn't gone and helped? What if my beautiful large friend hadn't gone and helped? This woman would have been totally screwed over...again!
She came into work tonight and thanked me so sincerely for coming to help her and replied I was just glad she was moved out of an abusive place.
She cocked her head at me and asked how I knew he was abusive?
This ain't my first rodeo. I'm an old chica. I know stress when I see it...been there done that. I also know the frightened look on a woman's face when having to live with a monster.
Guess what? Now the monster has one pot to cook in and a cheese grater. (I left the crappy one for him) There are many forms of abuse. Mental, psychological, emotional, sexual and physical. I think this turd may have hit on a few of them. (small pun)
"Enjoy your crappy cheese grater!" I wanted to yell out my car window as I drove off.
Kudos to my friend for being smart enough to escape.
I came home and felt like kicking myself for ever dreading to offer and help. So I get depressed, so we are broke as a joke. My husband has never raised a hand to me, he has never cheated on me and he has never called the cops on me. (which only guilty wimps do)
I have new respect for this woman , co worker and now good friend. She could have ended up like Nicole Brown Simpson but made the right decision and I was lucky enough to be able to help when she did.
And I thought MY life was tough sometimes. Boy was I wrong. Counting those blessings again and putting an icy/ hot on my aching back...but it's a good kind of ache this time!
Til next time...COTTON