The Wheels on the Deere Go Round and Round...

SHEESH!! Talk about major surgery with multiple complications...I think Johnny flat lined a couple of times...no wait a minute, maybe that was me!
My last update had ole Johnny boy flat as a flit and sitting lop sided in his bed room...I mean my garage. I finally broke down and went to buy a new rear tire. The old tire had more plugs than tread and was a rolling exhaust fan. It's pretty bad when you can see the holes in the side wall and they are too big to hold TWO plugs put in together. Fix a Flats are great but they were only band aids that seemed to be getting smaller and smaller until it was like putting on one of those little circle band aids a doc puts on your arm after a shot. Unfortunately John Deere tires ain't cheap but compared to a Fix a Flat every time I cut the grass it was a MUCH better investment. Zach helped me get the tire off (another story all together) and I took it with me to Tractor Supply to prevent me from getting the wrong tire or wrong size...been there, done that. Thirty four dollars later I was home with a new tire and no clue as to how to mount it on the rim. Of course it was a Sunday and the tire stores with their fancy dancy tire mounting thingy were all closed. I did what comes natural...called my 'next door' husband. Believe it or not he hadn't had his number changed or my number blocked (yet) and even actually had the cajones to answer...Ya GOTTA love that man! He told me to come over and Massey and I trotted next door with the old tire still on the rim and the new tire. Being flatter than a pancake the old tire came off the rim pretty easily (compared to the next part.) About a half gallon of sealant goop came out of the old tire and luckily he had done this part in the grass. He cleaned the rim up like it was brand spanking new and then the hard part began. It took him a good fifteen minutes to get one side of the new tire on the rim and then he said "Okay, that was the easy part." The next part took more like twenty minutes and when he finally dragged out his air compressor out of his garage I thought Thank you , Jesus (and 'next door hubby.') The tire wasn't completely sealed around the rim and the air didn't help any at all. Being the genius he is he said "I saw a show one time on TV about truckers and how when they changed a flat on a big rig they sprayed starter fluid on the tire and lit it. The heat makes the tire expand and it pops onto the rim...wanna try it?" Massey and I both vigorously nodded and I sent up a silent prayer that it worked...not so much for me but for my neighbor who had just spent over half an hour helping me to fix his rival for my affection.."Johnny Dear." He told us to stand back and we both backed up about twenty feet (yeah, we're sissies.) After spraying the tire he held a match to it and it was like a small atom bomb went off..."WHOOSH." About two seconds later the tire gave a loud "POP" and the tire was sealed on the rim. It took him a couple of seconds to beat the flame out with a rag but it had worked! I told Massey in amazement "Dang...Mr. Ron's kinda like a wizard !" He just laughed and said "Yeah, that potion worked pretty good!" He inflated the tire with his compressor and asked if we needed any help putting the tire back on...I would've had to been blind , bedridden and hooked to a respirator before I would have even CONSIDERED saying "Yes." I thanked him about fifteen times and told him putting the tire back on would be easy. Massey and I trotted back across the yard and went into my garage to show Johnny his new appendage. I've never seen a lawn mower smile but he definitely looked happier to me. I had been using my huge Christmas tree stand as a jack (yeah, I'm a ghetto mechanic) and John was sitting on it now. Problem was with the new inflated tire he wasn't QUITE far enough off the ground to slip the new tire on. No problem...that's what 17 year old sons who sit around the house are for! Zach came out to the garage and lifted John's 400 pound butt off the tree stand so I could slip the new tire on. "With this tire...I thee wed" was going through my mind as it slipped on his axle. "Throw some bird seed and rice on me as I drive out of the garage" I wanted to say to Zach , as I jumped on my baby and cranked him up! Put him in gear... and AWAY WE (didn't)GO. @#$%! I tried reverse...still "No go." I told Massey, who had come out to wave me off on my maiden voyage to give me a push hoping the gears would catch or maybe I would just "Catch a break" and the gears would engage. Once I rolled down the drive I was leaning forward in a "GO GO GO' type of lurch just praying for a miracle. I Guess God was telling me my "miracle" balance was low so Massey and I pushed the mower back into the garage and I went inside to sulk. I got on the computer and googled the John Deere discussion board. For Pete's sake there were 16 pages of discussion topics and it took me 30 minutes to find anything helpful. One guy wrote that his JD wouldn't move and another guy had written back "Have you recently replaced a rear tire?" I clicked on the follow up comments and there were none. I guess they were keeping the solution a secret but at least I knew I was going in the right direction. I went into work the next night and was picking the cook's brains while they were pounding the crap out of the Veal, Chicken and Beef on the prep table. One of them said there was probably a reset button or toggle switch that incapacitated the transmission when a wheel fell off or was removed for safety purposes. Sounded good to me so when I went home from work tried googling THAT topic. No hits. But I came across a topic about replacing the pin into the axle before putting a rear tire back on. HMMM. Interesting, considering I didn't remember a pin when Zach took the tire off. After talking to my brother in law this morning I went out to the garage and sure 'nough...there was a two inch metal pin on the garage floor! I had seen it yesterday when getting in my car for work and thinking it was a nail, kicked it out of the way thinking "I don't need a flat on my car too!" My brother in law came over with a "Real" jack and took the tire off, put the pin in the axle and put the tire back on. This time I think I heard Johnny actually giggle...or maybe that was just me. Hopped on my yellow seat, cranked him up and put it in reverse..."GO JOHNNY GO...JOHNNY BE GOOD !!!"Success at long last! Only at MY house, can a flat tire be a blog a pain in the butt and an amusing antedote all rolled into one. Til next time..."CUTTIN AGAIN COTTON"