Sunday, January 24, 2010

RAIN RAIN GO AWAY !!!


"It rained for forty days and forty nights." Well maybe not THAT long but it sure feels like it. Went into work early and got off late...it was raining before I went in and still raining when I left.


Just letting the dogs go outside is a major ordeal. Once the back door is opened they all three take off like a shot trying to beat the other one to NO WHERE. Mud is all on their underside, especially the bull dog who sits so close to the ground I should have named him "Low Rider."


The female boxer has talons where her claws should be and it's like wiping the feet of a hawk who has been using Sally Hansen's growth formula.


The male boxer isn't quite so bad but when I let them in one at a time to wipe their paws, instead of standing on the beach towel like the other two..he lays down immediately on the towel. No getting under that belly or even being able to wipe his feet as the 100 pounds lays solidly on the towel like "See...I'm the GOOD one."
All three of them follow me from room to room. All day and all night. If I make a move so do all three of them. Maybe I should start living in the garage til this monsoon ends.
I've used more beach towels this winter than I did all summer...and still have paw prints on my once semi white kitchen floor.
I love them though...they are the only ones that don't complain or ask for something from me.
I have to get my male boxer a girlfriend though. He is at that age where he is humping ready. He's proven to be hetero...doesn't show much interest in the bull dog but every once in a while goes crazy over Rosie, my female boxer (and she's fixed for Pete's sake.) Not to mention that Rosie is his AUNT!!
When he starts his desperate attempts at wooing Rosie, my husband says "Ham is after his "Aunt Girlfriend again."
Such is the life in a household with three mutts...but I could do with the rain going away for more than three days at a time.
At least I am off of work finally. I had a couple that came in thirty minutes before closing to sit and make out at the table for over an hour and then tried to pay with a gift card from Outback Steakhouse. I went back to the table and said nicely "This is an Outback gift card" and said he "I know...it was a gift. Cool, huh?"
I told him he wasn't at Outback but yes it WAS a cool gift.
Then five minutes before closing an older couple came strolling in to eat as well. Just wasn't my night. At least the older couple ordered right off the bat and ate quickly while watching my other table slobber all other each other.
The older couple tipped me well...probably for the free peep show. The younger make out marathoners left me five bucks on a $60 tab. I guess being able to see the depth of their love for each other was part of my compensation.
I was just glad to get out of there and head home to let the dogs out and wipe their paws again when they tramped back in.
As you can see they are all once again snuggled around the table where I type on the computer. They don't tip...but they show their love.
Tim is at work til in the morning so I will head up to bed to let them follow me up the steps . The bulldog goes under the king size bed like a troll..his back two digits always sticking out just to let me know he is there. The female boxer goes back downstairs eventually to curl up on the sofa and Ham jumps up on my king size bed to sleep back to back against me (he is so stinkin warm) with his head on Tim's pillow snoring loudly away like Homer Simpson.
When Tim comes through the downstairs door at 7:30 in the morning Ham jumps off the bed like "uh oh...Daddy's home" and I simply turn Tim's pillow over before he gets up the steps and say "Hey honey...how was work?"
How long can I keep up this routine? Pretty long if I just wash his pillow case three times a week.
Til next time "A sneaky wife" AKA Coniving Cotton


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