Girl Gone...

Massey left tonight for a week long vacation with her best friend and her parents in South Carolina at Myrtle Beach. She went with them last year, they are GREAT people...just that losing a touchstone for a week is hard to take.

I let her out at their house...hauled out all her back packs and her pillow.

I stood in their driveway and held her face in my hands. It was a feeling I never want to forget. To hold the face of your child in your hands. The face you saw come into this world and the one that you have seen in every mode possible. Anger, happiness, pouting, joy even defiance sum up what it is to be a loving parent.

I kissed her on her lips and told her emphatically and sincerely that I "LOVE" her.

Luckily this is my second year with this week long separation.

I worry myself sick until I hear that they have made it to Myrtle Beach, then the paranoia wears off a bit ( she calls me at least five times a day.)

I am not big on my kid being in a van flying down any highway on a six hour trip, but once they arrive...it is an instant sigh of relief.

My two sons tend to arrange their lives without me being in the immediate circle. I should probably send them a thank you note.

My daughter has her life constantly in my face. She needs to go here or she needs to go there. Can I pick Brittany up on my way home? Today is the day that you have to take me for an early rehearsal, or she needs to turn in her form for band camp...and did I mail the check for color guard ?

She did a baby sitting gig tonight for some last minute spending money (she is very resourceful with her baby sitting skills) and I passed her off to her friend's parents for a week.

I missed her the minute I went into the downstairs bathroom and saw her half full bottle of water sitting on the sink. That's my girl ... pop tart wrappers, half empty soda cans, used cotton balls from where she took off her nail polish... is she leaving me all these things to remember her by or to make me glad I am rid of her for a week?

These are precious reminders that I have an "almost" fourteen year old daughter who is so full of life that it makes "ME" tired...and that is quite a feat. My boys seem to live in a world where they feel more comfortable just not having me know about their feelings at all...otherwise I would constantly question or challenge their every decision.

Granted sometimes the boys are lower on the 'worry' scale... it is just because they know how to work you...they are practicing for their first "Yeah , I REALLY love you relationship."

I guess because I lost my mother at an early age and my sister took over as my mother figure I have always been drawn to the female side of things...or maybe it is because I am a Democrat. Now I am just rationalizing...but as long as my girl makes it to Myrtle Beach, calls me with her 'bouncy' voice and tells me she is having fun, I will feel okay.

Why do I feel like I wish she was already back?

Also wish I knew why these last few lines were in yellow...not that I HATE yellow, but don't throw me a curve when I am already worrying.

PS...I fixed the yellow and she has already sent me three texts!